Hash Trash #1802: no one quite died


Hares: Mary Pissmiss, Rip Van Wanker, Sawbones Box: Baza Gardens Sewage Treatment plant On-home: Togcha Cemetery Another week, another shit plant. But I had some high hopes when the map went up, because we were heading south, where there were actual rivers, even if they were full of shit. And with three veteran hares, good terrain, and some rainy weather, there were some good odds that we were going to see some blasting waterfalls. And extremely low odds, if I'd been bookmaking on this sort of thing, that I would lose my shorts. But speaking of full of shit, Mary Pissmiss was left by himself as a hare, as Rip took Tyrant Airlines a little further afield for Xmas, as did Sawbones. So Pissmiss' plan was to call out Bambi, the perfect holiday-time replacement hare. But Bambi's lymph nodes had swollen to the point where it looked like he had tucked an apple between his left cheek and gum, so he failed to show up to the box. Which led Pissmiss to calling me out at the box and making me a hare, a generous favor I will no doubt repay some day. The river was deafeningly loud, as trail led down into the Togcha, turning up the tributary to hit some steep falls. The swirling currents caused big problems for many of the hounds, as Just Olivia had fallen into one whirlpool and was just about to make peace with dying, before realizing that there were options other than that, i.e. living, and swam her way out. Tyrant named her Piece of Dumb Ass, which shortens nicely to PODA. PODA wasn't the only one with drowning issues, as Trampoline had some treacherous trail give way and dump her in a swirling tide - as she convinced Just Daniel to give her a hand, she neglected to tell him to brace himself or hang on to something, so she pulled him right in with her instead. Both were then rescued by Just Travis, who apparently has more of an engineering background than those two. Bloody Cycle also got in the wash, scratching up his ass so much that he had to show his wounds to everyone and anyone that he met for the next 48 hours. One guy wearing a snowman costume came out looking like shredded spaghetti. Going up the falls was too much for some, given the volume of water and near-death experiences, causing some to turn around. Others, like Gecko, knew to rely on their fellow hashers to help them. For instance, using Eat Shit and Die's face as a step ladder to help herself up the falls. Communication was difficult given how loud the river was, so when FNGs Just Jeff and Just Yoshio went past the check to take them out of the river, they weren't entirely sure wh