Hash Trash #1811

February 25, 2017

Hares: Scratchy Post, Sawbones, Slimus Maximus

Box/on-home: waaaaay off the road across from trail to Tarzan pool

Trail summary: Bro Run 5.5? None of these hares were there for the bro run two weeks ago, but they’re all original bros, having kicked it together in “The Great War” like a few bosses circa 1917. Point is, they’re old, and even if they aren’t as cool now, you know they were studs in their own time. Anyway, these vintage bros tooled around on the fire break road side of the road for a bit, then crossed over and headed to the top of Tarzan falls. They didn’t have the trail go down to the bottom, but, plenty of us stopped there to a) go Vidal Sassoon in the waterfall or b) take a pee break in one of the little pools. Trail then pointlessly tooled around for a while longer before ending as a circle jerk.

TFI and Two Buck Whore did some flying slash hare hunting. TFI stumbled upon Sawbones hiding in the prone position and politely asked, “may I please have your shorts sir.” Sawbones obliged, but not until Scratchy came out from his hiding place imploring his elder hare to stand and fight. “WE DIDN’T GIVE UP WHEN THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR!” Now Scratchy in full freight train mode is an obstacle to avoid, so TFI, in order to protect himself and his new shorts, literally put Sawbones in between Scratchy and him and did this awkward threesome dance (Sawbones being the holy spirit everyone always tells you to leave room for). Eventually TFI came to his senses, yelled on hare, and off went Scratchy to the road. There he found Two Buck. Our perennial flyer had a raging boner because in 15 years, he’s never caught Scratchy. There was some tussling, man love, and horse trading (at least one of those 3) before Two Buck got the shorts.