Headline: Tyrant turns 50!
sub-headline: Just in time to see his son spanking chicks and daughter exposing her ass to the crowd
March 18, 2017
Hares: McPeanut, One-eyed Willy, Menstruating Minstrel (in absentia)
Box: Left turn off Marine Corps in Asan before big Navy
On-home: Nimitz reservoir
Trail summary: with Minstrel still on the mend, he gave over plans of a perfectly solid trail to McPeanut. He even took McPeanut out and showed him where to start, where to end, and where to middle. And yet, yet, McPeanut and last-minute add One-eyed Willy managed to upper deck it this trail. Don't get me wrong, we eventually got to the waterfalls, and they were cool. But, there were a number of problems: 1) we spent a good half an hour pointlessly crawling through those stupid vines even though a service road was right there and would have gotten the pack to the cool shit a lot quicker. This brings me to 2) the FRBs took almost an hour 40. Most didn't get in til after dark, and Tiny Dancer after midnight, but 3) the hares somehow ran out of tape and flour, making the final dark part of trail the hardest to follow. Still, everyone got in eventually and there was Guinness on trail. And, I have to say, Guinness is best enjoyed with Viagra at a waterfall watching Tampon go off the wrong way on a bad fly.
Religion featured the 50th name year of our beloved Tyrant. To celebrate the occasion, Daddy Issues flew in from LA, his parents from somewhere in England where they make the most British-looking people possible, and even one of his longtime friends Andy who was somehow balder and whiter than Drip Lip. Not surprisingly, the First Family dominated most of the good stories of the night. First, Tyrant decreed that the first person who called for his spanking tunnel was going to be his proxy. So up steps Viagra and calls for the tunnel for...Toe Stroker. She also had a birthday, and she obliged on her knees. But one of the spankers in the tunnel was none other than Drip Lip's 16 year old son, who gave Toe Stroker quite the loud smack. This was despite his father's warnings to just stay back in the shadows and not cause any ruckus. For his transgressions, he was made to do his FNG while the circle sang "Cats in the Cradle." Then there was Daddy Issues. She told quite the tale about being crop dusted by an unknown individual. She was all set to blame Just Cat until True Grit fessed up to the deed. Not sure how he didn't get named Crop Duster or Pumba or something. Anyway, Daddy Issues also called Tyrant's bluff by calling for his spanking tunnel. Turns out, he wasn't bluffing and she had to crawl through the tunnel with her shorts around her ankles with her father delivering the final blow.
Other things happened: the guy from Rota who we all thought at one point or another was a girl and got shit-hammered was visiting, as was a very unenthusiastic Saipan hasher who had to be shown how to Saipan High 10. And Minstrel closed us down by singing us an Irish drinking song that was no kidding 5 verses long.
Pubic Cervix announcement 1:
-map goes up at 3:30 on saturday because the hares decided that they only want you in the dark for 60 minutes instead of 90 minutes
-be there between 3-330 at the PDN, and bring a light
Pubic Cervix announcement 2 (that will be repeated in a separate email):
The 1818 is coming up on April 15, and it's going to be a FULL WEEKEND of HASHING.
-Friday night full moon run, followed by a campout
-Saturday morning Family Hash
-Saturday afternoon regular hash. Meet at the PDN at 4
-Saturday night event run campout (food, music, etc)
-Sunday morning hare of the dog hash from the campsite
-order your extra livers now
-$20 for all of this plus an AH3 gift
On-on to the 1815!
"What happens on the hash, stays on the hash...except when it's written in the hash trash."