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Hash Trash #1801

Box: A couple of feet farther away from the Tanguisson Shit Plant than last week

Hares: Bean Dad, The Long One, Ribbed for Her Pleasure, Drip Dry (also I saw Bambi setting marks)

On Home: Faifai Beach

There was a lot of sideways glances at the PDN as the map went up, thinking, hoping, that the hares were playing a prank and just re-attaching last week's map with a number altered. But no, we returned to The Box So Nice You Had To Smell It Twice, just slightly closer to Two Lovers than last week. Because the hares wanted us to run towards the shit plant instead of away from it this time. Tampon and a few others followed Slimius Maximus on a fly, because Slimius said "trust me I know where I'm going" and people actually believed him. In the land of the blond, the one-eyed man is king, I suppose.

The rest of us hit the turkey-eagle split directly in front of the shit plant, with the eagle pointing down towards the beach, and the turkey cutting back inwards towards the top of the big ladder via jeep trail. My last experience with the ladder was getting stuck behind Tampon wearing nothing but a chawat, so I passed. The holidays means it's time for turkey. So inwards we go, eventually pushing off the jeep trail and into the scrublands, to hit the old quonset huts, ducking and diving through all nine or so back there. I was doing a decent job guessing at the checks, having to repeatedly choose between the path that was meticulously chopped and cut versus the one that looked like The Long One just kind of heaved his body at it (FYI the correct one was the cut one).

Ribbed, however, wasn't having as good of a time figuring out his own checks, and was still putting trail down trying to connect it when I came up from behind. He gave me the ol' double bird and dove into the bushes, at the exact moment that Unhappy Landowner #1 drove past. I was tempted to put him on hold for a second and say 'yo hold up I gotta find this guy and rip his pants off', but figured Ribbed wasn't going anywhere fast and that may make things worse, so I spent a little bit getting talked at, apologizing for our local running club's failure to get permission to go through. UL#1 and his truck full of dismembered pig's feet headed off, and I turned around to locate Ribbed, which took 4 seconds because he was wearing a bright white shirt and was squatting 20 ft. off trail. He was protesting re: his shorts ("My camera is in them. I have nothing on underneath" etc etc) when Unhappy Landowner #2 rolled up, and the rest of the pack started to catch up as well. Ribbed and Viagra spent some time with UL#2, while enough front runners accumulated to form a plethora. About 5 minutes later, ~14 of us walked down the road with Ribbed as he plopped flour down, seeing if he could find the trail he was supposed to match up with. He didn't, so Viagra and Blowhole took the lead, plowing a path down to Tumon through awful vines while Ribbed and Bambi tied marks behind.

Trail popped out at the abandoned lot across from the Nikko and headed down to Gun Beach, with the official on-home around TLP at Faifai Beach, where the hares had pre-stashed the coolers and pallets, and actually got permission from a landowner to use the site. Religion was delayed a bit as traffic was NYC-style awful getting to and from the box, but we eventually got things going, with Grundle Bundle filling in as RA for the evening. The on-home setting was majestic, with cliffs behind and ocean in front, and three chickens sleeping in a tree directly above a group of hashers, prompting Blowhole to pray all night long for just one of them to drop a shit on somebody. We had some not-awful FNGs w/ body parts, a few familiar backsliders, a couple visitors, and one or two occasional tales from the trail that were entertaining, including Just Martha getting renamed Heard It Through The Rapevine for her loud frustrated moaning at being tied up by the vines on the improvised part of trail.

This Friday is the Longest Night of the Year Darkside, as you may have read, followed by Run #1802 by Mary Pissmiss on Saturday, which better not be up at Two Lovers Point or I will just start burning things.



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