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Hash Trash #1798

Headline: Hares mistake AH3 for Asphalt Hash House Harriers

Sub-headline: Tyrant abandons duties to C-level replacements

Pubic Cervix Announcement: in 2 weeks, December 10, 2016, is the 1800! $20 for trail, fully catered dinner, beer, debauchery, nudity, etc. It's a campout, so bring your sleeping gear or start resigning yourself to sleeping on a picnic table next to Spazz. Don't miss out!

November 26, 2016

Hares: Tube Top Teaser and One-Eyed Willy

Box: radio station on Nimitz

On-home: radio tower on Turner Road (sadly not at Minstrel's and PC's)

Trail summary: McPeanut clocked the run at about 4 miles, and 3 of those miles were on asphalt. Unnecessary asphalt as they made us run a pointless 200meters up Nimitz Hill when we could have just boxed at Turner road. But no, these hares wanted us to pretend we were doing a road run. The "payoff" was the eagle going top to bottom on one of the main waterfalls that eventually leads to San Carlos falls. The hares did well to set up plenty of rope, but the predictable bottleneck meant that almost a majority of the already small crowd didn't turn up until after dark.

With the Tyrant still MIA, it was up to your Hash Trash slash RA to run religion, so consider the rest of this post state-sponsored propaganda. I looked around for a suitable RA, and wow, slim pickings. I finally settled on Chili Chili to at least keep a British-ish accent up front. Since Chili rarely stays for religion, he pretty much had no idea what he was doing. To everyone who came up he was like, "hey, introduce yourself." Uh, pretty sure that's your job. It soon became clear Chili had no idea of anyone's name, but he was having a good time nonetheless. Fifteen minutes later, not even to FNGs, Chili had to leave before turning into a pumpkin. To replace him, I scraped the bottom of the barrel and found one of the only other mismanagement types around: Grundle Bundle (hash crack). Grundle, to his credit, did a solid job, except he managed to get distracted by Tube Top's earrings. everyone was happy because he couldn't hash crack and be RA at the same time.

We only had one FNG on the night, who was the Filipina trophy wife of some long-gone hasher named Cock Killer (#hashlivesmatter). But, when she was asked who brought her, she said something like, cockulator. Sober but getting drunk with power, I was not about to let such a good name go to waste. Eventually, there's a story from Just Olivia about Just Cameron and a few others. They were following flour marks and were on trail, but Just Cam kept insisting they were off trail because the flour was "old flour." He got them lost by not knowing that flour older than a day pretty much doesn't exist. So for his cocking up of trail and incorrect calculations of the age of flour, he is now Cockulator (or MissCockulator if you like). Is that a stretch for a naming? YUP. Did I care? NOPE.

On-on to the 1799 where maybe we'll have our Tyrant again


"What happens on the hash, stays on the hash, except when it's written in the hash trash."

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