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Hash Trash #1791

Headline: Marital Strife Stories Dominate Religion

Sub-headline: old divorced guys silently sit back and smugly sip their tea

October 8, 2016

Hares: Slimus Maximus and Scratchy Post

Box: Agat right by our coastal clean-up site (if you weren't there, you should have seen Haggan Daggan's "stick" method of carrying out a full engine)

On-home: where VFW burned down (you know, since that's where old guys go)

Trail summary: "scout for blowhole, set for Tiny." Sage words coming from Scratchy as part of a brilliant rebuttal from Trampoline's accusation of the hares generally being old and setting shitty trails. The rest of it included Scratchy telling the story of how he bumped into Tramp's father and the implicit threat of how much dirt he could give the old man about his daughter. What happens on the hash, stays on the hash, except when you need to enforce the Manamko respect code.

In a bit of an odd move, I got to fly Tyrant Air (or Air Tyrant, BBY owns both of them), on a non-fly. So, just doing true trail. The first check had true trail going through the ocean to the next beach over. While most of the pack took the road, Tyrant and I (huh, I guess it is I instead of me after all, Viagra was right) and some others took true trail. As we hit the next beach over, we hear some dudes behind a fence in an apartment complex yell, "hey, want some beer?" Oooh, first class on Tyrant Air. The first beer over the fence is a warm Corona. BiBubbleYum takes a sip, decides it's not worthy enough for his pallet, and passes it to me. Here, you drink this one. I'll just get the next cold one. Dammit. That's fair. RHIP I guess.

Religion was much more subdued than last week's, and it featured multiple episode's of marital dirty laundry NOT involving Minstrel and PC (they had already fought beforehand and kept it at home). Drip Lip and Drip Dry got in a bit of a tiff. I dream of Peenie got to hear Drip Dry talking big, then she thought she saw her husband running toward her, but she held her hmmph attitude and let anyone know who was listening she didn't give a bloody shit if he heard her. Meanwhile, Peenie and his man-harem went to Saipan to hash and were naked the whole time they were there. As if we didn't believe them, Brovaltine insisted on being naked this whole hash as well.

Post-religion there was more marital laundry to be aired as Fucking Puppies and Jumping Jack-Off had their collective shoe-downs. In a break in recent tradition, Tyrant started the shoe instead of the hounds leaving, and no one seemed to drink out of the actual shoe. The beer can was just put inside the shoe. Bad form people, come on, we're better than that. Then Face Jam and Greasy Poon started sharing stories about Fucking Puppies and Jumping Jack-off fighting, including at Puppies' first hash and the last event run. Ooooooops. Those stories prompted multiple rebuttals from both of them, and the situation tensed up like camping from there. Way to bring up old shit ladies! FaceJam was hoping to prompt some hot make-up sex, but based on the reaction from the old divorced guys being smug in the back, I don't think that's a thing after your wedding day. Anyway, what we took from all of this is that Jumping Jack-Off is way too hot to have birthed 2 kids and has amazingly perfect fake tits, and Fucking Puppies needs to just deal with whatever shit she gives him. They are going somewhere, and let's hope they take the honors and traditions of the Agana Hash House Harriers with them. Honor!

On-on to the 1792! (I'll be haring).


"What happens on the hash, stays on the hash...except when it's written in the hash trash."

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